Friday, June 19, 2009

In the Pits: The Curious Case of Gludgeons

Let's face it--in terms of beauty, there are plenty of things to envy about Sienna Miller: her long lithe figure, perfectly slim yet toned legs, and gorgeously defined bone structure. But, judging from the spread in Vogue's July 2009 issue, if I were to steal one feature it would be her armpits!
I promise that I don't have a peculier armpit fetish. It's just that lately I've been increasingly bothered by my own, given that summertime attire exposes this area. There's a little unsightly bulge that sometimes peeks out from my sleeveless blouses or strapless dresses. An article called "Up in Arms" in Vogue's August 2008 issue defines this issue as "gludgeons." Can there be a word that is any more accurately ugly-sounding than that? My complaints don't end there. Unlike Sienna's smooth, flawless armpits (see photo on second row above), mine have wrinkles! (Well, not wrinkles exactly, but more like deep folds.)
Hopefully, I'll be able to afford Thermage treatments, Botox injections, or a mini-armpit lift to remedy this situation one day. In the meantime, I'll try to ignore this flare-up of vanity... Or find someone who can airbrush those gludgeons out of my photos!

1 comment:

  1. i think a lot of women would agree with you on the gludgeon (really, gludgeon??) dilemma... it would make strapless dress wearing a lot easier for all of us!